Twitter is where thoughtful conversation goes to die. Celebrities prove time and again that tweets are better suited for ill-advised thoughts than for thought-provoking musings. Here are the best celebrity (and corporation and generally public individuals) tweets from 2013 that will make you reconsider your career goals:

This is an actual tweet.

I Want A Million Dollars A Year For Illegally Having My Mind Read And Privacy Stolen
— amanda bynes (@amandabynes) July 1, 2013

my life has changed for the better ever since I changed to lower case font — amanda bynes (@amandabynes) July 12, 2013

Sure, but you still used that “I.” (Bynes’ tweets have been too good this year to include just one.)

Maybe this is one of those celebrity beauty secrets.

Put ya face in tha mayo — Snoop Dogg (@SnoopDogg) September 11, 2013

This sounds like an odd euphemism.

Send me pictures of your hamster. — bob saget (@bobsaget) March 9, 2013

Party girl Lindsay thought this would be a funny April Fool’s Day tweet and ended up deleting it.

The Kardashian half-sister makes light of a heavy issue because she doesn’t like her hair.

I miss my black hair I’m so bipolar 🙁 pic.twitter.com/YMRFXwKju8 — Kylie Jenner (@KylieJenner) November 6, 2013

Dr. Phil caused outrage with this short-lived tweet. He might need a refresher on the meaning of consent. 70 is the new 50 (Erica and family are going to be so pissed…but at my age…)

The journalist posted this tagline with a nearly-nude selfie. He apparently thought better of it later and took down the tweet, but the internet is forever.

An Atlanta news site tweeted this racially insensitive news.

This tweet was just in poor taste. Someone noticed and deleted it.

Another bad call from someone at a corporation.

The author wanted to point out a disconnect. I don’t think he thought this through.

All the world’s Muslims have fewer Nobel Prizes than Trinity College, Cambridge. They did great things in the Middle Ages, though. — Richard Dawkins (@RichardDawkins) August 8, 2013

This comedy TV writer really missed the “comedy” mark here.

I’m all for Make-A-Wish as long as they can guarantee the kid won’t pull through at the last minute. — Gary Janetti (@GaryJanetti) December 8, 2013

Trump is still touting his conspiracy theories, this time in connection to a person’s death.

How amazing, the State Health Director who verified copies of Obama’s “birth certificate” died in plane crash today. All others lived — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 12, 2013