The following animals are the sweetest, most innocent, least guilty animals you’ll ever meet in your life. They are nothing but cotton candy, rainbows and glitter. They are totally not planning dastardly things. Embrace their adorable shifty eyes and guilty consciences. You know you can’t resist.

1. These best friends.

These two are totally not planning anything. Nope. They’re not in the middle of some epically bitter feud that has simmered, unnoticed, under your nose for years.

2. These citizens of Fort Asshole.

Cats like boxes; these cats are playing innocently in a box. It’s all normal cat behavior. Nothing to see here.

3. This dog, who maybe tried to eat a bee.

He regrets his choice. That doesn’t mean he’s going to admit that anything happened.

4. These goats.

Just doing what goats do: jumping on people’s heads.

5. This stalker cat.

Just… you know. Hiding in the sink. Totally not stalking you. Totally not planning on hunting you as you attempt to go about your daily business.

6. This cat and his feathers.

Nothing to see here aside from a hunter and its prey. You’re probably not next.

7. This other cat, who is not planning anything at all.

Definitely nothing involving mice or other small animals… or electronics. This cat is not planning to chew on any of your personal possessions while licking its lips in delight. It would never dream of such a thing.

8. This lurker.

Don’t pay attention to this cat as it lurks in the shadows, waiting. Waiting for you. Waiting for things it can pounce on and claw. Or whatever.

9. This cat, who thinks it’s human.

This cat is the picture of total innocence as it sits unnaturally on its butt, staring out the door with protruding eyes. It’s really hoping you won’t notice that it’s trying to learn to walk on two legs in preparation for gradually taking over your household.

10. This hedgehog.

This hedgehog isn’t doing anything under this hat/bag/tea cozy; she’s just scuttling around in camouflage, biding her time.

11. This dog, who is not stealing the remote.

He’s napping, and is totally not scheming to steal the remote.

12. This head cat.

Draping oneself over someone else’s head is totally normal. Don’t worry about it.

13. This bed full of cats.

They’ve been waiting for you. Not in, like, a sinister way or anything. Just waiting.

14. This playful kitten.

Not planning on stealing your chair and sticking its large tongue in your face. Not at all.

15. This dog, who is not planning to take back its bed.

This rodent may or may not be squashed by this dog’s butt at some point.

16. This sad puppy.

This puppy actually is totally innocent. How can someone with that droopy face and those giant eyes be scheming anything? He is the ultimate in puppy innocence.